someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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