so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
50% drunk capacity currently
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
