sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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