Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just found puke in my bra..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
