yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
