I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
