I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
