Capitaan dildo arrescate!
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
