Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
