I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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