You smell like a Billy Joel song
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
why do cheetos always look like penises
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
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