he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
