Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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