he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
