How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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