i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
