The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
