Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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