After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
