Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he fucked my hip out of place.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
