I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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