thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
