Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
hell yes lets make some ravioli
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
