Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
