Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
