Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
