You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
