CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
