things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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