Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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