There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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