Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
