my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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