I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
