Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
