She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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