Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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