good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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