Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
