you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
