sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
