I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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