Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
why do cheetos always look like penises
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he fucked my hip out of place.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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