Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
