Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
