drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
This is the high leading the old right now
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
