it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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