I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
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