watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
