Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
