Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
