i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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